March 30, 2011

...From here?

March 30, 2011/ Jennifer Blair

I hate waiting.

There, now I've said it. I like to have a plan and stick to it. In preparation for any trip or project, you can guarantee that I have made a checklist and a schedule...at least in my head if not on paper. In highschool and early on in college I used to get extremely annoyed when someone was running late or threw a complication into "my plan." After a few loving rebukes, I have since tried to be more flexible. Even so, I just don't like to be flexible. I like my own way better. I hate waiting - in everyday life and in my relationship with the Lord. Except God is obviously not obligated to follow "Jen's Checklist for How She Wants Her Life to Work Out."

I'm just going to be honest right now. This week has been a struggle. I'm having to let go of some of my dreams and surrender a few steps in my "plan" to the Lord. In my soul there is a deep restlessness. I feel like God has given me these intense passions only to let them lie dormant. I am waiting. Desperation for a life filled with His purpose consumes me. I just don't know what that purpose is specifically. I am learning to be satisfied in Him through the waiting, to be content even when I'm not where I want to be, and to be patient in waiting for His vision.

"For still, the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end - it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay." -Habbakuk 2:3

...From here?

Spinning, my head is spinning
With so much on my mind
My heart has a deep yearning
But for what, I cannot find

Here, for a season, for a time
Yet I’m eager to move on today
I want adventure, not routine
Some days I just want to run away

I feel You pulling me toward something
But when will Your revelation be near?
What is it that You ask of me now
Where are You leading me from here

…From here?

Something invisible compels me
In my mind there is restlessness
I must know, Lord, I must know
I do not want to wander aimless

I know you have a purpose
For the passion bursting from my veins
What You have started in me
Will be completed, not in vain

I feel You pulling me towards silence
So that Your voice I can hear
Your servants waits on you now
Where are You leading me from here

…From here?

March 29, 2011

Make me swoon...our love shoot

March 29, 2011/ Jennifer Blair

Have you ever seen a photo that expressed so much more than you could ever say? Our engagement photos are as such to me. When I look at them, rivers of emotions flood my heart. They are priceless to me. I remember looking at my then fiance and feeling so much love...those feelings still radiate from the images. I am grateful to T2 Photography for capturing these priceless moments and I am so excited to share them with you all!

Check out their website, blog and facebook page. It will be well worth your time!

photo credit - T2 Photogrpahy

I feel so secure with him next to me.

photo credit - T2 Photogrpahy

Right here is my favorite place to be in the world.

photo credit - T2 Photogrpahy

He makes me laugh so much!

photo credit - T2 Photogrpahy

I can't get enough of my man playing and singing.

photo credit - T2 Photogrpahy

This photo...wow. I married a stud.

photo credit - T2 Photogrpahy

These photos capture a very exciting time in our relationship. If I'm not careful, I can try to make our life like these photos...which are pretty close to perfect. (Yes, T2 Photography is that good!) We will never be perfect, neither will our relationship. But I can cherish it everyday. I can choose to love and serve the man God has given to me. Sure, life will not always be as blissful as these images. Marriage is not about making us happy, but making us holy. Each morning I wake up and see these photos hanging on our bedroom wall and I am reminded of our commitment to each other. I see these photos and am recall just how blessed I am to be with such a wonderful man...

...which is worth more than I could ever say.

March 28, 2011

I am a dreamer

March 28, 2011/ Jennifer Blair

I am so thankful I married my husband Jonathan.

He knows me like no other person in the world.

The other day we were driving around and I started to tell him some of the dreams that have been spinning around in my head lately, of the things I aspire to be, and of my heart's deepest desires. I am passionate about so many things, but I've been having trouble figuring out what the main thing that I'm suppose to focus on in life. It is so easy for me to get caught up in my dreams and ignore the here and now. I love to think about "the big picture."

I love to write music and lead worship, thus I dream about being a worship leader at events like Passion or recording a worship CD.

I love to write about life, love and the pursuit of Christ (familiar?), thus I dream about publishing a book.

I love photography, thus I am dreaming about a nice camera and a photography business.

I love world missions, thus I dream about traveling the world, sharing Christ and coming back to tell the stories.

I love helping people, thus I dream about creating a non-profit organization that helps millions of people across the globe.

I love children, thus I dream about having 4 kids and homeschooling them with all the creativity and passion in these bones.

I love to create and craft, thus I dream about opening my own etsy shop.

I automaticly think large scale when it comes to the things I love. I'm a dreamer - it's what I'm good at. My husband is a dreamer too. We have so many aspirations. As I was sharing some of the things on my heart he said, "Jen, you're a dreamer. I am too. We both think big, but what if God is calling us to small things right now? We're married, and that means we need to focus on the main purpose God has for our lives...together." I'm so glad I have him to keep my dreams in check. Sure, I know that God has stirred some things in my heart lately. I know some of these dreams are from Him, but some of them are not.

Sometimes my view of Him becomes clouded by all my dreams. I cannot have that. Even if none of these things come to fruition, I can be content in small things becase I have HIM! And knowing Him is far better than any dream of mine. Is it hard to accept crushed dreams sometimes? You bet. But at the same time, I have so many that I can spare a few to be crushed!

So for now, for today, I will seek Him and His purpose for me. My heart can be so deceptive. I dare not trust any heart but His.

Say the word...

O God I want to please You
To serve You with all my life
I long to follow Your perfect will
To give all as a living sacrifice

But what do I do with my desires?
Do I need to let them go?
Will they fit in to Your plan?
Should I even want to know?

I give them all to You now
I can only rest my heart in You
I trust that You will guide me
And show me what to do

Should I crucify my dreams?
Say the word and it is done
Do want them burnt on Your alter?
O not my will but Yours be done

I cannot do anything less
Than give You all of my heart
So I offer up all that I am
You are in control of every part

Can You question now my soul?
Will you doubt Your LORD?
Will you trust in His unfailing love?
For nothing else can you afford

Say the word, Lord, say the word
Speak and I will obey Your call
I give back to You the life I owe
Take it, O Lord, take it all

March 07, 2011

Justice & Mercy

March 07, 2011/ Jennifer Blair

Have you ever had something pop into your head and you really have no idea where it came from? It's happened to me quite a bit lately. The other day I was getting ready to head to lunch when this thought came to me:

What if I was more aware of the needs around me? What if there was a way to get a lot of people connected and united with the mission to make a difference in our world for the Kingdom? What if I started such a project? How can I help others to help others?

Ideas started flooding my mind. Where did they come from? Sometimes I have a hard time differentiating my dreams from inspiration from the Holy Spirit. I wonder, what is the difference? God has been doing some crazy things in my heart as of late. I almost fear becoming a radical. What will this mean for my life? What will he call me to do? I'm not sure what God is going to do, but I am ready to find out!

I don't know about you all, but I'd love to do more to help people. My problem is that I'm not sure of where to start. Simply giving money to the church and expecting the ministers to impact the world just isn't good enough for me. I want to be a part. I want to make a difference for Christ in this world.

I want to love justice and mercy.

What good is my worship of the Savior if I have no love for the lost, the needy, the broken, the widows and orphans? How can I say that I serve Jesus Christ and NOT reach out to them?

I have a vision.

I see our generation rising up as the Bride of Christ. We can be more unified now than ever before. We have so many things to our advantage. I see this generation leaving behind the comforts of our culture and using our resources to reach this world. I see us rising up to proclaim the glory of Jesus Christ, showing the world that He is worthy by giving up everything for Him. I see the Spirit move in power among us. I hear us proclaiming, "Jesus, we are here for You!" And oh, how I yearn to witness it all come to pass.

This video rocked my world. God has been speaking these very same things to my heart. This was confirmation. Please, take a moment to watch it. I'm not sure about everything he says, but the principle behind this video is worth seeing.

So, this is your invitation. Come and join the revolution. Come and make a difference. I don't know how it will all happen, but I'm giving everything I've got for this purpose - the glory of God, no matter the cost. O grace of God, let me not stay the same. Take hold of me. Consume me.

"If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother in needy but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with workds or speech but with actions and in truth." (1 John 3:17-18)