Summer Journal No 1. | Releasing Butterflies

Elias told me the other day, “You are so lucky to have five kids.” I replied, “That is so true, bud. I am so lucky.” Teaching these five this past year has been life-giving to me, though I’ve had plenty of trying days. We’ve been through a lot, and they have no idea the impact they’ve had on my soul. There’s just nothing like seeing them grow up close.

Back in April we purchased five tiny caterpillars and took them home. The kids names them Elaine, Guinevere, Catty, Butter, and Fly. (I’ll let you guess who gave which ones their names.) As soon as we got home, Simon grabbed the container off of the counter and dropped it. I thought we had just killed our newly acquired beings. Thankfully, caterpillars are pretty resilient. For 12 days we watched as they grew and grew, waiting anxiously for when they’d make their chrysalis. The kids were mesmerized. It was funny how long we could sit and simply watch them move around in the container. One day we woke up to one in a newly formed chrysalis, and 6 days later we woke up to one emerged butterfly. We released them just in time - the day before a big trip back East. It was a beautiful way to wrap up our school year. They loved watching the caterpillars grow, and I loved watching them grow. (Though I thoroughly enjoyed the caterpillars too.) Watching my kids find joy in learning and in nature is such a blessing to me. Getting to teach them so many thing is such a joy. I both lose and find myself in being their mother and teacher.

One reason I find these days so precious is that I know they won’t last. Like we had 18 short days with the caterpillars before we released them, I have 18 short years with these beautiful souls before they are released into the world. You bet I want to spend so much of my time just watching them, mesmerized by how they’re growing. I get to love and care for them. The joy my children find in animals is just a glimpse into the joy I have in them. Now, five kids is a lot. It’s a lot of need-meeting for me all of the time. But when I step back just for a second, or when I take a picture and see how much they’ve grown already, I’m reminded of how truly “lucky” I am. And Lord willing, they will all be so beautiful when they’re grown that it will be a happy thing to release them into God’s good purpose for them in this big wide world.