I am so thankful I married my husband Jonathan.
He knows me like no other person in the world.
The other day we were driving around and I started to tell him some of the dreams that have been spinning around in my head lately, of the things I aspire to be, and of my heart's deepest desires. I am passionate about so many things, but I've been having trouble figuring out what the main thing that I'm suppose to focus on in life. It is so easy for me to get caught up in my dreams and ignore the here and now. I love to think about "the big picture."
I love to write music and lead worship, thus I dream about being a worship leader at events like Passion or recording a worship CD.
I love to write about life, love and the pursuit of Christ (familiar?), thus I dream about publishing a book.
I love photography, thus I am dreaming about a nice camera and a photography business.
I love world missions, thus I dream about traveling the world, sharing Christ and coming back to tell the stories.
I love helping people, thus I dream about creating a non-profit organization that helps millions of people across the globe.
I love children, thus I dream about having 4 kids and homeschooling them with all the creativity and passion in these bones.
I love to create and craft, thus I dream about opening my own etsy shop.
I automaticly think large scale when it comes to the things I love. I'm a dreamer - it's what I'm good at. My husband is a dreamer too. We have so many aspirations. As I was sharing some of the things on my heart he said, "Jen, you're a dreamer. I am too. We both think big, but what if God is calling us to small things right now? We're married, and that means we need to focus on the main purpose God has for our lives...together." I'm so glad I have him to keep my dreams in check. Sure, I know that God has stirred some things in my heart lately. I know some of these dreams are from Him, but some of them are not.
Sometimes my view of Him becomes clouded by all my dreams. I cannot have that. Even if none of these things come to fruition, I can be content in small things becase I have HIM! And knowing Him is far better than any dream of mine. Is it hard to accept crushed dreams sometimes? You bet. But at the same time, I have so many that I can spare a few to be crushed!
So for now, for today, I will seek Him and His purpose for me. My heart can be so deceptive. I dare not trust any heart but His.
Say the word...
To serve You with all my life
I long to follow Your perfect will
To give all as a living sacrifice
But what do I do with my desires?
Do I need to let them go?
Will they fit in to Your plan?
Should I even want to know?
I give them all to You now
I can only rest my heart in You
I trust that You will guide me
And show me what to do
Should I crucify my dreams?
Say the word and it is done
Do want them burnt on Your alter?
O not my will but Yours be done
I cannot do anything less
Than give You all of my heart
So I offer up all that I am
You are in control of every part
Can You question now my soul?
Will you doubt Your LORD?
Will you trust in His unfailing love?
For nothing else can you afford
Say the word, Lord, say the word
Speak and I will obey Your call
I give back to You the life I owe
Take it, O Lord, take it all