Do you have one of those painful memories when someone said something to you that hurt deeply? I have one from when I was about six years old. “This table is only for girls with Smackers chapstick.” It wasn’t like the words are super mean, but the message was clear to me: Not Included. Not Good Enough. Rejected. I think most of us have those memories to varying degrees. We often remember the life-stealing words spoken over the life-giving.

But what if the life-giving words were spoken to us over and over and over? Words have the power to shape us, yet we often don’t give enough attention to what our own words are doing. James gives us the image of the tongue as a fire, yet Proverbs speaks of good and timely words as “apples of gold in a setting of silver.” We can let our words be something that destroys beyond all repair (only rebuilding) or something beautiful, valuable, and enriching.

I’ve read a lot about giving your kids a “blessing”, especially at nighttime, and how speaking words of life to your children will help shape your lives. As James also puts it, faith without works is dead. (Not that we are saved by works, but that they are evidence of salvation.) I’d wager to say love without action and words is also dead. What does it matter if I love if I never show it? And so, Jonathan and I wrote a blessing for our kids. It’s become part of their routine and even little Simon says “bwesssing Mama” at bedtime. When it comes time for their blessing, they eat up the words. If their eyes are windows to their hearts, they are open and tender. I want to say these words over and over so that they have these truths planted in the deepest part of their hearts. I want life for them. Who better than their parents to speak these words of life into their souls? How I talk about them and how I treat them is one some level what they will believe about themselves. I want them to have a sure and solid foundations, to never doubt that they are loved and valued by us as parents and by God. Saying it over and over challenges to me not just to believe the things I say, but to live them out each day too. I pray that by saying over and over, my words lead my heart and my actions.

I’m sharing our blessing, not as a model, but as a springboard for any of you who may want to make your own words of life for your family.

You are my most important ministry
Apart from Jesus & your Daddy (or mom)
You are a blessing, not a burden
It is my joy to lay down my life for you,
and a privilege to be your Mommy (or dad)
I love you, and there is nothing you can do,
good or bad, that will ever change that

Though I love you so much,
Jesus loves you with a perfect, never ending love
He loved you so much that He died
on the cross to take away all your sins
Though things may be hard in this life
He will never leave you or forsake you
Life with Him here on earth and eternity with Him
in life to come is so much better than we can imagine

May the Lord bless you and keep you
May He make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you
May He look on you with favor and give you peace