Jonathan and I started dating when I was 19 and he was 20. We were both pretty young, so we didn't plan on rushing through the dating process. I hadn't really dated anyone before and we both knew we wanted to take things slowly. After dating a while I remember when it really sunk in that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We weren't engaged, but I knew. Honestly, I had known from the beginning, but it felt like I had finally realized that there was no turning back after that point. This was for the rest of my life! In that moment I had a little funeral for the old me, free to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I had to prepare to put someone else's needs before my own in a new and different way. Of course I was excited to become Jonathan's wife, but it was a little bittersweet goodbye. I loved my single years and I was never going to have them back. The season of marriage came a little sooner than I had thought, and elated as I was I knew I'd be different from then on. The girl I was before was going to fade and I was going to become a new version of myself.

Change. It's the nature of life. None of us stay the same, at least not really. As we enter into various seasons we grow and transform. Most of the time, it's a beautiful thing.

It's both scary and exciting to think that there will be a little baby Blair in the house soon. When the reality of it all does hit, it is often accompanied by worry. I'm a planner by nature and now suddenly the details of life have been thrust up into the air. Honestly, it feels much harder to trust the Lord than before. Now there is another little life depending on me and I feel the pressure. I don't know what you all are walking through right now, but our family seems to be placed in circumstances where there is no alternative but trust in God. It's easy to say, "Lord, you know there's only so much rope left right?" He sees. He knows. He has never failed. I don't know if you need those words today, but I sure do. I need reminding over and over that His will is never thwarted, though my plans my lie in shambles. He will remain faithful, even in my faithlessness.

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken...Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." (Psalm 62:5-8)

I've been meaning to write this post for weeks now, but that pesky morning (aka 24/7) sickness has gotten the best of me lately. Now that I'm finally writing, I hardly know where to begin. Honestly, I never really dreamed much about how I might feel when this day came. I never wanted to plan it all out, but simply be content when it came. In the past 3 1/2 years I have often thought about how I might love being a mama in my early 20's and then other times I wondered if we've had enough time to pursue our dreams and goals. I don't have any answers but I am certain of one thing: God's timing is perfect and this life is a gift. I'm very happy with a baby at 25. It feels perfect for us. We are so excited (and maybe a little freaked out) about bringing a little life into the world. We count it as an honor to be entrusted with this child. I have cherished these years of just the two of us. We have had so many fun adventures that I will remember fondly forever. Still, we are so thrilled about opening a new chapter and starting a family.