Those words resonated in my heart like a loud voice in a cavern. The other night I was organizing my office while listening to some of Hillsong Conference on my iphone. Honestly, what could be a better compliment to clearing clutter than worship (and maybe eating a little tomato bisque)? After some amazing stuff from the Hillsong worship team I heard pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church utter the words...You're never really ready.
Read MoreIn my heart lies a dangerous mixture of pride and self doubt. They are potent enough by themselves, but together they create a deadly concoction. My pride holds on to mere shards of accomplishment, along with anything that makes me feel important. My self doubt keeps me in fear of losing them and tells me that who I really am isn't good enough. At the Making Things Happen Intensive a few weeks ago, I was able to put aside distractions and really deal with some issues in my heart. It was a beautiful time where God revealed a lot of my fears and helped me let them go. I have seen so much change in my life since then. It's been so wonderful. Part of making things happen is to strip away the things that aren't important in order to focus on what matters. As I've started to do that even more of my doubts and fears have been replaced with truth. However, I've realized that my self doubt isn't my only issue. There is also a problem of pride. (Gulp.)
Read More"I walked out to the hill just now. It is exalting, delicious. To stand embraced by the shadows of a friendly tree with the wind tugging at your coat-tails and the heavens hailing your heart - to gaze and glory and to give oneself again to God, what more could a man ask? Oh, the fullness, pleasure, sheer excitement of knowing God on earth. I care not if I ever raise my voice again for Him, in only I may love Him, please Him. Mayhap in percy He shall give me a host of children that I may lead through the vast star fields, to explore His delicacies, whose finger-ends set them to burning. But if not, if only I may see Him, touch His garments, and smile into my Lover's eyes - ah, then, not stars, nor children shall matter - only Himself." - Jim Elliot
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I might as well admit that I had it out with God earlier this week. I just found out that we are not going to be able to go to Ethiopia in the fall. Immediately I started asking God why. Wasn't I called to go, to get the stories of those there and to be a voice? I've seen him provide for the trip already through those who have helped us raise funds. I received so many confirmations. To be honest, I feel lost now. I know His ways are best, but right now I just don't understand why the door has been closed. I wish I knew the next step.
We're still planning on going...sooner or later. There is another trip in January, so that's a possibility. I will probably be looking into some other options as well. One thing is for certain - God has a plan for all of this. I know He hasn't put this passion in my heart for no reason. I have gone through so many seasons of dealing with restlessness in waiting. For a while I felt a fire kindling inside and had to wait to know what it was. Now I know and I long to be doing what I know I am called to do...but I'm still waiting. I know I'm being prepared for the task, but it doesn't make me any less restless. I yearn for Africa.
The Door
Confusion now takes over me Isn't this where You have led? I followed You along this path To find the door closed instead
"Step out in faith," You said to me And I will open the door for you" So to follow Your call, I obeyed Remember God, I left all I knew
Desperately I grasp the handle Holding on I fall to the floor I long for what was promised me What's locked behind the door
I have no fallback, no other plan I have put all my faith in You Now all I can do is hope And trust Your Words are true
Slowly I let go of the door Relinquishing all former dreams This door was just one, You have more I know You have greater things
I'll be the first to admit that I don't have it all together in my business. In fact, I'm certain that I'm really bad at the business side of things and I'm definitely sure that I don't know everything there is to know about photography. Sometimes my to-do list is incredibly daunting and other days I wonder what in the heck I'm going to do. My circumstances are probably different than most people building a photography business. For different reasons God thrust me out a full time job and into this. I've had to learn on the fly. It's been overwhelming and just plain hard at times. Through all of this I've learned one thing...
JUST SHOW UP!
Every morning I try to have a "just show up" attitude. I might not have a clue how what I'm going to do or how I'm going to do it, but I get up and go sit at my desk anyway. Often it's all I can do to hack through my to-do list, but more often than not I'm showing up to see what new things the day may bring. This has been especially beneficial during the slower times, especially in the begining. When I first started there were so many things I needed to master and I didn't know where to start. It was amazing what I learned by doing this. This principle is true in many other areas as well. It doesn't really matter what you're trying to accomplish or how formidable your task may be. If you just show up and put forth effort, you're going to move forward.
"Today what you'll do what you did yesterday. Tomorrow you'll do what you did today. Eventually you'll get somewhere." - Artist, Chuck Close
Do you have something you'd like to learn or accomplish? Then don't worry about how much is on your schedule, a lot or a little. Show up. Be Teachable. Keep pressing forward. Nothing worth having is going to be attained easily anyway.
Happy Friday everyone!
Fine Art Film Photographer Utah, Colorado, 30A, Florida, & Worldwide | Copyright Jennifer Blair 2016 Design by Crème Brands
