Fear crept into my heart like the grass between my toes. Ever so cautiously my feet hit the ice cold stone, sending shocks of doubt coursing through my senses. "Take this step" I heard a whisper. I know it's right, but this was not the step I envisioned for my life. The grass is easier, I could go where I want and the path seems clear in my mind - green, flourishing, happy, wide open...The little stone seemed anything but where I wanted to go.
Just a stepping stone. Take the step.
I obeyed in faith, but my tiptoes revealed that my heart stepped begrudgingly. "You'll fall if you don't put your full weight on your feet." Trust. Jump to the next step. So I did.
That was nearly 6 years ago now.
So far 2016 has been a year of fresh vision and new direction. I'm seeing things with more clarity than ever before, and looking back over the last 6 years I see a small glimpse of His purpose for my journey thus far. There is nothing quite like surveying the past over your shoulder, seeing how all the little stepping stones connect and make a beautiful path. I couldn't understand how all the pieces of my life were going to fit together when I started my business. It didn't make sense; the little stone seemed to be in the opposite direction of where I thought God was taking me in life. What seemed like a small, insignificant steps from one stone to the next have taught me more about myself, faith, friendship, connections and purpose than anything else in my life.
These steps taught me who I am. I know, cheesy right? But it's true. When you are "marketing" yourself, your work, your life, you have to know who you are and be very clear on your message. It's helped me understand scripture better. I see it all through a different lens. My worship is different. My friendships are different. Even my mothering is more focused, because I have to be. I'm still learning and growing, but I know that my poet's heart is not something to hide, but harness. Say it more concise. Say it clearly. Say it beautifully. I've been given a gift to express deep things of the heart. Walking this path in business had helped me see the why and how I accomplish making an enthralling narrative from the full-spectrum of human emotion, simple things and deep, spiritual truths in all aspects of my life. Running my own business has connected me to my purpose and intertwined my heart around it. It's inseparable now. Every piece of life, my past, my marriage, motherhood, the simple everyday, work, faith, writing, worship, home, and relationships all have the same focus. For that, I am eternally grateful to God for giving me what I needed and not what I wanted, and for giving me the hard and beautiful work that has made me who I am today. My heart was worship and missions 6 years ago when I stepped on this stepping stone, and now I understand how this journey has only made those passions stronger and prepared me for the many steps ahead.
These steps have given me years of experience, taught me hard lessons and made me search out clarity. Now, I've been able to give those things back and share what I've learned with others. That makes all the hardships worth it tenfold. There is SO MUCH more I want to learn, but I have an arsenal full of truths I can pass on to others on the journey. No lesson has been wasted. No mistake useless. All perseverance rewarded by being able to invest those things back into to other souls. Even for my daughter I can say, "Don't give up! Keep the faith. It will be worth it in the end." I can say it because I have been there, walked through it and come out with deeper faith. For that, my heart overflows with thankfulness.
So what does that have to do with my new site? Nothing really, but everything at the same time. It's mature and refined. It's been simmering a long time and boiled down to a concentrated direction. It's more weighty and meaningful because I have a clearer view than ever before of the road ahead. It's thrilling and terrifying but I cannot wait to see this new step slowly fade into the distance behind me. From the stone I'm standing on, the path is bright and clear, even though it's a tough uphill climb but with great reward for the one willing to take a risk.
One stepping stone at a time.
A HUGE thank you to my dear friend Kathryn at Crème Brands for creating this immaculate new site for me. Her heart, vision, and talent is unparalleled. Thank you friend for understanding me so well!