It's such a big thing, bringing a person into the world. Just over 23 weeks into this journey, my heart feels the strain between what matters and what doesn't. Having a little one is so much more than buying cute mini clothes and decorating a room. Children are a gift, yes, but they are also a huge responsibility. Very soon our little girl will arrive and we will be entrusted to raise her, provide for her, teach her and so much more. She will depend on us and we will help shape her life. That's an enormous undertaking that we don't enter into lightly. God has a unique plan for our girl and it's our job to help guide her on the path to find it. What a task! We know it will be a tremendous joy and challenge...and probably more on the challenging side. She may not do what we have done. She may not have our same weaknesses and strengths, accomplish what we have accomplished, or even take interest in the things we love. Our bigger picture is to raise her in God's ways, however that plays out for her unique person. Period. Even when she's just a baby I hope I have eternity in mind every single day.
I don't want to get caught up in the wrong things, but I've found that it's so easy. She's not even here yet and I feel it! It really doesn't matter if we choose not to go the usual stay-at-home mom or working-mom route. It doesn't matter if I use this bouncy chair or or a different one. It doesn't matter if my child isn't always dressed in adorable outfits. It doesn't matter if I feed her organic this and that or not. Comparison won't make me a better mom, nor will it help me stay focused on my real mission. I feel mom-pressure and mom-judgement already, and I really want to stay as far away from it as possible. I'm no veteran. I haven't done this before. However, I do have The Perfect Guide. No book, no class, nothing even comes close to Him. I can rest in knowing that if I seek Him, He will lead me. He will show us His ways for our little family. I can't expect any other family's story to be like ours, because we will be different! All the information and tools out there may help, but in reality only God knows what is best for us. He alone can give us wisdom and strength for the dauntingly yet beautiful years ahead. He has given us this precious little one and He will be the one to show us what she needs. I hope I guard my heart daily, so I don't substitute the wrong things for the real thing. Ultimately, she doesn't need us - She needs Jesus. We will never be her all in all. We can't give her everything. He can. He is more than enough for her and He is more than enough for us.