I'm really good at throwing things away. In fact, I relish it. If I don't need something anymore, then I have a little goodbye party and throw it in the trash. If I'm not sure where to put something, I shove it behind pillows. I loathe seeing messes, but if I can't see the mess it doesn't bother me. I kinda do the same thing with my emotions, especially negative ones. Those pesky feelings! Consider me the 007 of getting rid of emotions if you will. I'm not a huge fan of them. They're messy. Again, I loathe mess. If I find I'm wearing my emotions on my sleeve, sometimes I feel the need to I cut off the sleeve and throw it away...or stuff it behind a pillow. Yeah, I know that's not so great to do. Sometimes life just gets overwhelming and things don't go so great. And so I hide what I'm feeling until I have time to process it. When I've made myself too busy and don't have time to process, I just keep stuffing and stuffing and stuffing...
Take a moment and image a big trash bag of emotions bursting at the seams. That was me last week. With my mind going a million times a minute and hardly any good rest, I finally had a meltdown. Suddenly, all the pent up mess spewed out...and it wasn't pretty. I realized that I need a more efficient way to rest. I've got to be able to "take out the trash" more often than I have been lately. I need a WHOLE day once a week to completely shut off work mode and read, write, pray and be with the ones I love. I had been taking breaks and trying to have an off day, but I know I was still letting my to-do list occupy my mind. So, I finally took time to truly rest. I went to a park all by myself...coffee in hand and blanket, Bible, books, journal and camera in tow. It was marvelous.
The Lord reminded me once again just how much I need Him. "Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on Me." (Is. 30:15) He is my source of everything. I can truly rest in Him and trust Him with the details of life. When I'm overwhelmed, He is more than enough.
How do you guys rest? Do you guys have trouble shutting off the to-do list?